read online pdf Club DeadAuthor Charlaine Harris –

Annoying, boring, charmless, dumb Since I was already on a roll of unpleasant books, I finally forced myself to read my second her third novel the magazine SFX had made me import two with their misleading review.After a typical cold, boring interlude showing how irresistable he is he wears flanel and has hair , vampire Bill disappears at the start of the book and readers are supposed to be stupid enough to fear for his life Even if Sookie s feelings hadn t been so badly written, I still wouldn t have cared Bill, like the other vampires, embodies everything I dislike, but supposedly titillates the majority of readers, since vampire novels are now a genre of their own There is the huge difference between the heroine and her super man that are meant to make it sexier, resulting in off putting sex as the garnish on a deeply conventional reactionary relationship This time dear Sookie once again gets lusted over and groped by a number of men that are supposed to be erotic due to being supernatural She is still the most beautiful woman, all natural, as she confesses, but the rubbing up to werewolves et al is only pretend sizzle, because she never has sex with anybody but her husband, whom she supposedly loves although mostly is just angry at or afraid of which supposedly is meant to be erotic who btw isn t her husband so she misses cooking him breakfast and she cannot accept his money because they are not legally married It s a constant praise of the simplest of minds, of the housewife that obeys all the traditional rules for women and gets rewarded by being the object of lust of wild mostly just in their hair styles men.I had to stop reading now after she proudly Mary Sued that she got all her education from genre reading although she likes to quote difficult words from her word a day calendar too and toddled off for that wonderful luxury females indulge in, a beauty make over sigh Onceinto the breach, I go, onceinto the breach ETA After various killings and threats of torture, lil Sookie seriously thinks the following Somehow, it had never crossed my mind I guess since I m an American that the vampires who had snatched Bill might be resorting to evil means to get him to talk AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I would tear out my hair but really I should tear out Harris.FAZIT A bloody MillsBoone novel, the only difference being that the men alternately defending or threatening, but always lusting after the safely bland heroine are supernatural.BOTTOMLINE the pervasive trend in current genre fiction seems to be self satisfaction The heroines and possibly the writers night not even be aware of it, but OTOH I noticed it s no longer considered negative and egocentric but positive and strong to state how great oneself is And never mind the obligatory asides meant to indicate self doubt the annoying women from the novels of e.g Raybourne and Harris are 111 percent sure of their superiority, any lack of knowledge being part of that parcel of perfection.But towards the end of the book, the reading was easier That was partly because Sookie was badly beaten up yay , partly because all the previous action or violence tended to be covered by one sentence, the rest was her moving between bars and flats and petrol stations and doing her nails To top off the tedium, it ended in a bit of a cliff hanger, with Eric yes, he is a Viking still in better graces than bf Bill, although the next novel might uncover misconceptions Whatever puts it up for mooching The adventures continue this one breaks from the original romance into very bizarre terrain Still terrific enough to make me keep reading em.Everyone around Sookie is threatened, she gets beat up in every single book She endures so much and how much time has elapsed Actually two seasons only half a year That she endures so much and the fact that the plot breaks at times, goes many places except where you think it will go main characters can die within two pages, sometimes two paragraphs no one is safe all is fair game , all this is so admirable new rad to read. Things Between Cocktail Waitress Sookie And Her Vampire Boyfriend Bill Seem To Be Going Excellently Apart From The Small Matter Of Him Being Undead Until He Leaves Town For A While A Long While Bill S Sinister Boss Eric Has An Idea Of Where To Find Him, Whisking Her Off To Jackson, Mississippi To Mingle With The Under Underworld At Club Dead When She Finally Catches Up With The Errant Vampire, He Is In Big Trouble And Caught In An Act Of Serious Betrayal This Raises Serious Doubts As To Whether She Should Save Him Or Start Sharpening A Few Stakes Of Her Own Sookie has never been the brightest bulb in the pack, but she hits an all time low in the intelligence department in this book Her most grievous offence, in my eyes, is that she continues to pine for boring, bland Bill throughout this book Bill is not only boring, but he s a cheating asshole Why Bill is an asshole list 1 He is boring2 He has no sense of humor3 He is filthy rich and yet lets his love scrape and scratch to live in poverty4 Even if he wasn t rich, he never brings her flowers or does anything thoughtful for her5 He is heavy handed and calls her mine as in ownership refer to 3 4 is that how you treat yours 6 He lies to her about where he is going7 He is cheating on her8 He viciously bites her9 He rapes her10 Even after attacking and raping her, he has the nerve to think they should still be togetherSo, I hate Bill So, Bill the Cheating, Raping, Asshole gets kidnapped while he is out cheating on Sookie What does Sookie do A Say Good riddance to bad rubbish and move on with her life while laughing manically B Let Erik and the vampires handle it because it s not her problem anyC Turn her own life upside down to run out to save him while crying like a little bitch about how much she misses himPersonally, I would pick A But, Sookie isn t me, or even a normal human being, because she picks C and runs off on a rescue mission for a guy who was literally planning on not even telling her that he was dumping her for another woman This pissed me off to no end But, at least we get Alcide, the werewolf Alcide is a stand up guy, and guess what He can be out during the daytime A big plus in a relationship He and Sookie are partnered up to infiltrate a vampire club to see if they can get any info on Bill the Dickhead And, of course, they do and Sookie gets hurt againAnd, there s Eric, who is completely awesome and wants Sookie as well For an uneducated, poor, white trash barmaid, this girl is somehow irresistible to every male south of the Mason Dixon Line Why won t Sookie choose Eric He actually possesses a personality and sense of humor.Plus, look is there really a choice here I just don t get it. 2.65 Parts of this book got me so angry, I don t even feel like writing a review Here is a good one that reflects my feelings though Original Rating 5 starsNew rating 3 starsThe first half of this book was extremely boring and mostly filler The second half was pretty great PRO Bill leaves in the beginning.CON Sookie does a bunch of boring stuff around Bon Temps.PRO Sookie meets Alcide.CON Alcide is so boring in the books.PRO Russell Edgington is in this book.CON Russell Edgington is so boring in the books.PRO Eric Northman Eric Northman Eric Northman Overall, this series in retrospect is kind of sucky and doesn t have the bite it used to for me at least I probably won t read this one again I fear my love for this series has finally met the true death I might re read book 4 though, just because it s Eric s main book.The writing is so cheesy and not very good, and the bulk of the story is mainly filler It just doesn t do it for me any But I still give this one 3 Eric Northman stars Only because the action in the last half was still pretty good I ll always love the TV show, True Blood until the craptastic last season The show really brought the characters alive and is so much better than the books, in my view For example, Talbot and Lorena are in this book Talbot is still Russell s lover and Lorena is still Bill s maker and one time lover , but they were reinvented in the best way for the show I loved True Blood Lorena and Talbot Here, you could almost miss them if you blinked. 1 Dead Until Dark .5 2 Living Dead in Dallas 3 Club Dead I don t like having feelings, Eric said coldly, and he left That was a tough exit line to top.This is the first installment in the series where we barely spend any time with Bill at all, and this is my first 5 star rating in the series Coincidence I think not.I loved this one so much I could barely put it down because I was having so much fun learningabout Sookie s world, spending time with Eric, and meeting all of these exciting new characters like Alcide, who is precious even if he s a little misguided at times, heh I would ve liked to see a little bitof Sam and the rest of the Merlotte s crew, but at the same time, it was fun to spend so much of the book in a brand new area.I also felt like the stakes ha were a lot higher in the drama of this installment than the two before it maybe that s just me, but it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat a bitThis series isn t without its problems by any means, but I m having so much fun with it and I can t wait to see what happens next Going off challenge here for a little bitey reading with my girl, Kristin Saturday, March 7Review First things first, idiotic MC rant time Things Sookie sucks at Picking menon this later Being self aware Not being a judgmental pratt Wearing anything that s not entirely tacky Appearing anything like intelligent I didn t mind this installment of the series, for the most part I liked the addition of Alcide and while no one can out gun Joe M., I found his character rather endearing I enjoyed the malicious addition of the shifters and werewolves to the overall story The writing, of course, was still a snore and a half Especially at the beginning of the book What the ever loving hell was the point of all the random shit she was doing around Bon Temps And scrabble Really Scrabble And now comes the BIG GREIVANCE I am spoiler tagging this for your own good, guys view spoiler I am so motherfucking TIRED of rape being treated as this poor behaviour that men basically get a little boop on the head for Rape is TERRIBLE It is a violation, one which most people who have endured it NEVER fully get over I don t care if you are a werewolf, a vampire or Santa fucking Claus if you rape your girlfriend or anyone s he gets to hate you FOREVER And if you touch the person you raped, in any way, ever again without consent I WILL hunt you down like the mangy dog you are and ensure you do not have limbs with which to do so again This rape and get over it on the next page shit is BULLSHIT Such bullshit HATE hide spoiler With Sookie as her mouthpiece, Charlaine Harris opened up the floor for the discussion of genre fiction in this latest installment of the Sookie Stackhouse series, because it turns out our sweet little friend Sookie proudly claims a self education through none other than two of the least respected forms of the genre novel romance novels and trashy mysteries The snob in me wants to snort in disdain and feel offended for liking Sookie But the other half, the half that isn t afraid to admit that I was not born into la cr me de la cr me or even worse, raised by pretentious wannabes with a bad case of sociale climbitis, oh yes, the earthy half just smacked that snob and told her to STFU, because Sookie is good people Plus, I also claim an affinity for horribly embarrassing genre fiction PAll that said, these books certainly aren t for everybody They aren t serious Harris isn t going to change the world or even open your eyes to a new way of self perception But for a fast, light read I would not hesitate in recommending this series to just about anyone who digs vamps and weres At this point, I ve read the first three The first one was okay The second was better, but it was in the third one that I started to feel a personal connection to the characters Sookie Bill meh I m not a big fan and really am rooting for Bill to go away very, very soon Mostly because I really can t tolerate facial hair and I have this picture of Bill with a set of horrible mutton chop sideburns a la Civil War era.Like this this NO, NO, NO Not even the image of a clean cut Stephen Moyer from HBO s True Blood can erase the picture my imagination has drawn of Bill Right or wrong, it s there and I can t stop focusing on it Sookie anybody else yes Sookie is young and she s not the kind of girl who should marry the first guy she sleeps with I also get the feeling that she s smart enough to figure out that fine line between sexual experimentation without turning into a sl t So she needs to get off the Bill parade already and go do it with somebody else Sookie 4, here I come Good riddance, CHEATER Was she worth it Too late for your vampire tears now